My Judgment is Really Impaired When I'm Sick
Like an idiot I decided to take some NyQuil now, completely forgetting how drowsy it’d make me. How am I gonna get my work done when I keep falling asleep? Hell, I’ll probably fall asleep while
A T-Rex trying different things
friend: did you know it takes 43 muscles to frown & only 17 to smile
me: maybe i'll lose weight
You Know What's Better Than Sex?
When your nose is congested like all hell and then it just decongests and you can breathe clearly for a minute or 2. That feeling is 100x better than sex. Fact.
Shit, spilt some water on the floor